Instead of thinking about what we want to give up, let’s think about where we want to go. How? Here’s a reminder from last June on how to do that.
Avoidance Goals vs. Approach Goals
I have to take on fewer assignments.
I need to lower my stress.
I’ve got to get out of this job.
I need to spend less time sitting in front of the T.V.
All of these sound OK on the surface, don’t they? Taking on fewer assignments might lead to better work/life balance. Lowering stress might lengthen your life. Getting out of a current job might mean getting a better one with more pay. And spending less time with the T.V. could lead to more family time or physical activity.
But chances are that these goals won’t get the goal setter anywhere and might even leave him feeling a little depressed. This is because each of these goals expresses the desire for the goal setter to move away from an undesirable state; these goals don’t provide a specific outcome or target.
If you want to move toward a goal, you need to set a goal as something to move toward.
So, if your goals sound a little bit like the ones above, think about where it is you want to GO versus what you want to leave behind.
I will only take on five assignments at a time.
I am going to incorporate meditation into each day.
I want to find a job that fits my top strengths.
I will only take time for T.V. after I have walked the dogs and helped the kids with their homework.
Having an outcome helps you know when your goal is achieved. And that will make you feel good – and motivated to do more!
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