As Ecclesiastes and The Byrds remind us, there are seasons in our lives. Ebbs and flows. We are always changing and dynamic. Sometimes the change is dramatic and swift; at other times it’s subtle, only recognized when we take a look back.
It’s following these subtle shifts that we might find ourselves hanging on to behaviors, habits, or even relationships that served us prior to the shift and may not now.
A growing awareness of a habitual behavior had been growing over the last several weeks. I sort of felt I should change, but it wasn’t clear to me why. Then in recent conversation a friend shared her favorite question from Dr. Phil McGraw: How’s that working for you?
Aha! This behavior I’m recognizing as something out of sync with who I am – who I’ve become – is no longer working for me. It used to, but no more. There’s been a change. I’ve changed.
Knowing this actually feels liberating. Dropping the habit, now that I know why it should be dropped, doesn’t seem daunting at all. I’m breathing easier. Feel lighter.
Our behavior often supports who we are; gives us what we need. When significant change occurs – new job, new relationship, divorce – or more subtle change like a drop or rise in stress level, what once was a perfect fit may no longer be. At those moments of recognition, it may be helpful to take a cue from Dr. Phil.