Coaching: Future Focus

Whether looking forward ten years or just to next week, focusing on the future gives direction and hope that can’t be found when looking back at what got us to where we are.  Just as you can’t run forward when looking behind you (Have you tried this on a treadmill?  Dangerous!), it’s difficult to move toward goals and ambitions with a gaze firmly on the rearview mirror.

So let’s look forward.  Here we go….

What are your long-term goals?  How much thought have you given to them?  What exercises have you done to envision your future?  Options include the Best Possible Future Selves Exercise, vision boards, or simply writing a bucket list.

There are many who will tell you that setting long-term goals is more difficult than setting short-term goals.  I’m going to challenge that thought.  It is easier to see the goals we need to set immediately because we don’t have to take the time to find them within ourselves – what we need to do is right there in front of us.  As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve never seen anyone struggle with writing a bucket list!  Long-term goals are not hard to set; making the time to set long-term goals is what eludes us.

With that in mind, what would it take for you to take the time to vision your future?  How can you make it a priority?

There is so much benefit to aligning short-term goals to long-term goals!  I hope you are able to make the time to find your future.

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Why Bother With Long-Term Goals?

When leading goal-setting workshops, I often begin with participants taking time to share their bucket lists with a partner and, if I can get them to do it, with the broader group.  Whether people have taken the time to really think about the things they want to accomplish before they “kick the bucket’ or not, everyone is able to come up with experiences, accomplishments or things that they want.  Why do I start here?  Because these are long-term goals and long-term goals have a lot of power.

How so?  I’m glad you asked.

First, knowing and acknowledging our long-term goals helps to guide our current activity and goal setting.  Identifying gaps between where you are today and what you hope to achieve can define what needs to be done to get there.  Have a dream to retire at 55 or own a new boat?  Short-term financial goals can be set to begin the journey.  Want to be healthy and active in your retirement years?  Short-term health goals will surface as important.  Desire to scuba dive in the Caribbean?  Setting up lessons on local lakes now will prepare you for the adventure.

Second, long-term goals help to motivate us.  When we see the gap between where we are and where we hope to go get smaller and smaller, we are energized to do more to get to that final destination.

Finally – and I think this point has the most power – tying short-term goals to future aspirations removes failure from the equation.  Meaning, when we “fail” at reaching our short-term goal, instead of seeing it as a failure we see it as an opportunity to reassess our path to the long-term goal.  We no longer have setbacks; we have points of re-evaluation and then continue on the journey to our dreams.

Setting any goal is a positive activity.  When those goals are tied to our dreams, we give them more power than they have when standing alone.

Yes, I’m a coach ~ and I’m also a keynote speaker, retreat planner and business consultant as well.  Learn more about the services I offer by navigating to my company website, Breakthrough Strategies.

What Do You Want?

What do you want?

Do you know?

Oh, it’s fairly easy to list out a few things.  Perhaps there’s a new car you’ve been eyeing or a piece of exercise equipment you’d like to buy… I’m talking about longer-term things.  Bigger things.

What do you want in your job?

What do you want out of your relationships?

What do you want from your community?

Not long ago as I was leading a goal-setting workshop, one of the participants looked up from her goal worksheet and said, “This is hard.”

Completely agree.

Figuring out what it is that we want is tough.  Finding that some of the things we want conflict with other things we want is frustrating.  Reaching a goal and realizing that it wasn’t exactly what we’d hoped for can be an embarrassing letdown.  What we want might not fit nicely into our other plans.

It can be hard and it must be done.  OK, we won’t stop breathing if we don’t figure it out.  But we can spend a great deal of time spinning instead of going forward if we don’t figure it out.  Time wasted.

So, what do you want?

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Coaching: Motivation

Motivation is something that we sometimes think others should do for us.  We expect our bosses to motivate us, expect project managers to give us a reason to be motivated to be a part of their project, and even listen to motivational speakers as well.

Like so many things, we can only be motivated if we want to be motivated.  And often, what motivates us is entirely up to us.  Unique to us.  With that in mind, here are a few thoughts to find ways to motivate yourself.  Even on Friday.

Here we go….

Have you taken the time to identify your long-term goals or your values?  How do the things on your to-do list tie into those?  Support them?  What can you do to help remember how important these things are to you?

How purposeful are your days?  How can you be more deliberate in what you choose to do?  What are you not motivated to do that really should be removed from your calendar?  How can you make more purposeful choices in the future?

And finally, what visual reminders – primes – can you put in your path to remind you and motivate you to do what you told yourself that you’d do?  Commit to placing primers in your path going forward.

This week has helped my own motivation.  So I can tell you that blogging about motivation is also motivating.

Hey, it worked for me!

I’d love to be your coach!  Learn more about the services I offer by navigating to my company website, Breakthrough Strategies.

Priming Your Motivation

Each day an email lands in my inbox from Eat This, Not That, priming me to make healthier choices each day.  It works.

Advertisers learned long ago that priming is the foundation of what makes ads work.  Priming also plays into our motivation.  Good or bad.  For example, studies have shown that simply saying words that are associated with being old (Florida, raisins, wrinkle, etc.) makes youthful adults act old.

Taking the time to observe the environment around us may uncover many things playing into motivation levels.  What might be impacting your life without you knowing?  Drawing from Creating Your Best Life, here are a few:

  • Sad movies
  • Photographs and names of supportive people
  • Achievement pictures
  • Junk-food advertising
  • Music (can be positive or negative)
  • Words (as mentioned above)

Now that you know this, the key is to create your own primers to aid motivation.  A few that work for me are the above mentioned newsletter, setting passwords to reflect my goals, and creating a visual “Primers” board on Pinterest.  Some additional creative suggestions, again from Creating Your Best Life, are:

  • Fantazein clock: flashes messages as goal reminders
  • New email address: I use my passwords instead as they change more often
  • Vanity license plates
  • Tattoos
  • Mobile ring tones
  • Happy pictures
  • Vision Boards

Remember that primes can also be negative, so be sure to look around to see if there are any anti-motivators at work as well.  Conflicting primes can also cause us to spin, whether we are aware of their power or not.

Priming is a way to remind us of our goals in creative and constant ways, motivating us to do what is important in our lives.

You can find all books mentioned in this blog online at the Coach Carolyn Store.

Purpose And Motivation

We can spend our lives trying to find purpose or we can find purpose in what we do.  Arguably, the people who find purpose in what they do are also those who find their purpose.  Many go about the process backwards.

In order to be motivated we must feel like there’s a reason for what we are doing.  We must have purpose.  Not necessarily a grandiose, all encompassing purpose – although that could be the case – but purpose in each little thing that we do.

I once went through the exercise of actively examining the purpose of each thing that I did for a week.  Why was I attending a particular meeting?  What was I doing saying “yes” to something that I didn’t want to do?  Was some purpose served?  Did the activity align to a goal?  A value?  An obligation?

Life changed.  I bowed out of meetings that I had no business being a part of.  I reminded myself that I could say “no.”  I focused on those activities that truly had a purpose in my career, my family, my relationships, and my life.

Have you lost your purpose and along with it motivation?  Maybe it’s time to examine your schedule and find where your purpose lies.

Connect with me on Facebook: Coach Carolyn

Long-term Motivation

Thinking about motivation this week and wondering where it was that mine went over the last few, I was reminded yesterday how long-term goals can motivate us to move in the direction of those dreams.

As I shared in a goal-setting workshop yesterday – speaking as much to myself as the participants – long-term goals help guide our short-term decisions, buffer us from failure, and motivate us to achieve more.  When we are able to see the end benefit of our current work, it’s motivating when we work to complete it.

For example, when I remember the mobile 80-year-old that I want to be, it inspires me to get on the treadmill.  Similarly, having my retirement goals in sight, I remember why I work hard for the money I earn and push a little harder.

Need to find some motivation?  Remember why you’re in it for the long haul.  Remind yourself why you started the journey.  Recall the reasons that originally when into setting your goals in the first place.  If these things were important before, they are likely still important now.

Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.  ~Mario Andretti

Where Did My Motivation Go?

Where did it go?!  A month ago you were passionately pursuing goals you set for yourself.  You were making progress!  You were stunning even yourself.  OK, maybe for you it wasn’t a month ago… maybe it was two months ago after you set your New Year’s resolutions.  Or maybe it was a few years ago when you started a new job or began a new adventure.  In any event, remember that?

What was motivating you then and where did it go?

Maybe a better question is this: What knocked your goal(s) out of sight?

For some goals, I know very specific things that happen that cause me to lose my focus.  With exercising, I always lose my momentum when I get an illness that lasts more than three days.  It can be something as simple as a cold; but when I can’t breathe I can’t (or don’t want to) exercise.  It’s like I forget it was ever important to me and after a longer-than-it-should-have-been break, I start all over again.

The crazy thing is that I know this about me; know it’s likely to happen.  And yet, it happens again and again.  How much easier is it to lose motivation when something unexpected happens?  And how much longer does it take to recognize that it’s occurred?

It starts with a day where we are simply “off;” where focus seems impossible and perhaps even futile.  Then another comes after that one where we force ourselves to do what we must, but our heart is somewhere else.  And after that it seems we’re simply going through the motions.  Our goals are out of sight… and when they do come into focus, they seem to be impossible to achieve.

Where did the motivation go?  What next?

We’ll explore that this week.

Setting Expectations

What sort of expectations do you have?  Are you a person who thinks we should be expectation free so as to avoid disappointment?  Or do you see expectations similar to goals: ideas that provide forward movement and something to strive for?

I fall in the later camp and tend to agree with Sam Walton when he said, “High expectations are the key to everything.”  I can’t help it; I expect a lot.  I’m not sure how I would ever go about changing that.

These expectations can also be a set-up for disappointment.  When expectations are high for myself, I can get frustrated when I don’t live up to my own standards.  When I expect much from others, they may or may not reach the lofty criteria I’ve set in my head for them.

On the other hand, I have seen time and time again when high expectations have delivered.  Perhaps not at the same standard of the original expectation; however, results were achieved that may not have been met if the bar hadn’t been set high.

Several years ago I was building a new team with all new employees.  As we went about the process to set expectations with leadership above us, I set the expectation that this group would deliver at the same level as other established teams.  No special treatment, our goal was to be as good as everyone else as quickly as we could be.

And it happened.

The reason for setting expectations high was simple – I’d seen it work in reverse.  If expectations were that new-hires wouldn’t perform as well as tenured staff, the new team met that expectation.  Turning those expectations around took a lot of time, years even.

Of course, it wasn’t the expectation alone that made this happen; there’s a lot that goes into a successful team.  Nevertheless, it played an important part and reinforced my belief in how important setting expectations high can be.

Connect with me on Facebook: Coach Carolyn

Why Hire A Coach?

Why would anyone hire a coach?  The profession is only about 15-20 years old and people evidently got by without it prior to that.  So what, really, is the benefit?

I could now cite studies about return on investment and client feedback that prove the benefits of coaching.  If you’re interested in that sort of thing, you can find it on the International Coach Federation website – because coaching does bring measurable, significant change to organizations and people.  Instead, I’m going to share my perspective with you.

Here are some benefits that I have seen both as a coach and as a client myself:

  • A coach is an accountability partner.  You know all those things you say you’re going to do and then never get around to?  A coach won’t let you get away with that.  I have had clients reach goals in weeks that they had been talking about reaching for years.  This has nothing to do with me specifically and everything to do with the client having someone to hold them accountable.
  • A coach holds up a mirror.  I hear my clients say things that they do not hear themselves say.  I see conflicting goals where they have not.  When a client speaks, I hear goals that he hasn’t yet articulated to himself.  Or when a client shares about what all she hasn’t done to reach a goal, I hear what she has accomplished.  Coaches provide a “fresh set of eyes” to see what clients might not otherwise see in their own lives.
  • A coach asks the questions other people won’t ask.  Because a coach isn’t a friend or business partner (usually), she can ask questions that those close to the client might be afraid to ask.  Or, because the coach is more removed from the situation, might ask questions others haven’t thought to ask.
  • A coach focuses on the solution.  Or at least a good coach does!  While it may feel good to vent – and I might let someone do this for a few minutes – it does nothing for forward movement.  A coach helps find a point on the horizon to move toward and allows past mistakes, issues, and problems to hold less power than they otherwise would.

More difficult to put into words is the moment each client has when they begin to see something differently.  Call it an “ah ha” moment, a revelation, a light bulb turning on… whatever it is, it happens in every engagement.  Making a commitment to improve never goes unrewarded.

Visit the Breakthrough Strategies website!

What’s A Career Coach?

International Coaching Week continues and so does my opportunity to share different coaching flavors with you.

I love coaching just about anyone on any topic; however, my focus is career coaching. Sometimes this means my clients are making a decision to move from being technical to a manager, moving from a manager to an individual contributor, or deciding to move into an entirely different industry.  More often my clients are focusing on how to improve their performance to remain competitive in their company and industry.  Asking the right questions to help people decide where they want to take their career next is an exciting part for me to play.

As you might imagine, career coaching is really about working through transitions, whether physically moving from one role to another or transitioning from the status quo to a new mindset. The International Coach Federation lists these as some of the focus areas in career coaching:

  • People in career transition or those who have a big career decision to make
  • Individuals in a corporate job or considering one
  • People struggling with the decision of whether to stay in a corporate job or choose another option
  • Those who are navigating the changing expectations of employees & employers, trends in the workplace, values or issues of loyalty & security
  • People who have received specific evaluation criteria or feedback from management regarding their future at the company
  • Those ready to determine their readiness to strike out on their own or look for another career

Making a career change can be an exciting time. Having a coach to discuss the possibilities can help make the process go more smoothly.

I’d love to be your coach!  Learn more about the services I offer by navigating to my company website, Breakthrough Strategies.

So, You’re A Life Coach?

“So, you’re a life coach?”

I always hesitate a little before I answer this question because no, I’m not a life coach.  However, our careers and professions are our lives, too… so yes, I do coach about life.  This particular niche of coaching can be a little murky.  I’ll try to help clarify a bit.

Many people equate life coaching with the profession of coaching as a whole.  As I mentioned yesterday, there is a broad spectrum of coaching areas and even within the niche of personal coaching there are many deeper specialties as well.  With regard to life and personal coaching, the International Coach Federation outlines the following focuses that a personal coaching engagement might delve into:

  • Life Planning
  • Life Vision & Enhancement
  • Extreme Self Care
  • Spirituality
  • Relationships (Singles, Couples, Families, etc.)
  • Health & Fitness
  • Creativity
  • Financial Freedom
  • Organization
  • Children/Teens/College Students
  • Attention Deficit Disorder

Reviewing this list, it’s easy to understand how it would be more beneficial to find a coach specializing in the area one hopes to improve in, like financial freedom or ADD, versus finding a coach who hasn’t focused on a niche.

So no, I’m not a life coach – but I can help you find a good one.

Connect with me on Facebook: Coach Carolyn

Welcome To International Coaching Week

It is International Coaching Week and as I did last year, I’ll spend this week educating on the profession of coaching.  It’s a pretty new profession and so many still don’t know or understand it well.  To begin, the International Coach Federation (ICF) defines coaching as:

“…partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

Under the umbrella of this partnership is a broad range of coaching specialties ranging from the most well known area of life coaching to the very specific niche of coaching adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). There are also coaches who focus on corporate/executive coaching, small business coaching, career coaching, conflict coaching, recovery coaching, leadership coaching, relationship coaching, teen/adolescent coaching, equine experiential coaching and the list goes on….

Also important to note is what coaching is not. It isn’t therapy, consulting, mentoring, training nor athletic development. Distinctions between each of these and coaching can be made and are nicely outlined in the ICF’s Coaching FAQs site.

Ultimately, the simplest explanation is that if you’re looking for someone to help guide you to get to your goals and dreams more quickly – and someone to hold you accountable in the process of moving toward them – then a coach would likely be a benefit to you. My clients find the actions they need to take based on our conversations, then follow through and see progress that strengthens them to keep progressing toward their final destination.

It’s an honor to be a part of the transformation.

Coaching: Planning Forward

Do you spend time looking forward?  Or perhaps a better question is this: do you spend time planning forward?  Most of us have plenty of dreams, but what is the course being charted to get there?  Hope is lovely; however, it needs a plan to accompany it if any forward movement is going to happen.

Today, take a moment to face the future, gain clarity about where you want to go, and take a step forward on the path in front of you.

Here we go…

What have you been thinking that you would like to give up?  How can you turn the goal into one that will move you forward?  There are examples in Tuesday’s post to help you get started.  Try rephrasing the goal and remember that it should be specific and challenging as well.

Spend some time listening to what you say to others.  How much of your conversation lies in the past?  How much of your current circumstance do you blame on others?  What accountability do you take for your current situation?  Accepting accountability gives the power to understand how to take control going forward.  Find ways to believe that you can make the changes you want to make regardless of what anyone else does.  Then set some goals to move forward.

When we set our eyes on the horizon, what’s behind us becomes less powerful and we are more able to control where we are headed.  Set the course and move forward.

Notice a change?  The graphic above is part of the logo for my new company name:Breakthrough Strategies.  You can learn more about the name change and services Breakthrough Strategies offers HERE.  

Why Set Approach Goals?

Setting goals that move us toward a target work better than goals where we hope to avoid something.  To help get that idea to stick, here’s some evidence to support this assertion…

  • Approach goals are associated with both higher levels of academic performance and increased well-being (Elliot & McGregor, 2001). Evidence Based Coaching
  • Coats, Janoff-Bulmand and Alpert (1996) found that people who tended to set avoidance goals had higher levels of depression and lower levels of well-being. Evidence Based Coaching
  • Studies have found that the long-term pursuit of avoidance goals is associated with decreases in well-being (Elliot, Sheldon, & Church 1997). Evidence Based Coaching
  • Approach goals actually use up less energy because avoiding something takes more mental and physical energy than approaching it.  Creating Your Best Life
  • It is thought that approach goals contribute positively to intrinsic motivation whereas avoidance goals do not. Wikipedia

If that’s not enough, think back to a few goals that you’ve set.  Which were easier to achieve and made you happier when you completed them?  Probably those that motivated you to move forward…

But I’m just guessing.

You can find all books mentioned in this blog online at the Coach Carolyn Store.

Goal-setting: Avoiding vs. Approaching

Instead of thinking about what we want to give up, let’s think about where we want to go. How?  Here’s a reminder from last June on how to do that.

Avoidance Goals vs. Approach Goals

Do your goals ever sound something like this?

I have to take on fewer assignments.

I need to lower my stress.

I’ve got to get out of this job.

I need to spend less time sitting in front of the T.V.

Avoidance goals.

All of these sound OK on the surface, don’t they? Taking on fewer assignments might lead to better work/life balance. Lowering stress might lengthen your life. Getting out of a current job might mean getting a better one with more pay. And spending less time with the T.V. could lead to more family time or physical activity.

But chances are that these goals won’t get the goal setter anywhere and might even leave him feeling a little depressed. This is because each of these goals expresses the desire for the goal setter to move away from an undesirable state; these goals don’t provide a specific outcome or target.

If you want to move toward a goal, you need to set a goal as something to move toward.

Approach goals.

So, if your goals sound a little bit like the ones above, think about where it is you want to GO versus what you want to leave behind.

I will only take on five assignments at a time.

I am going to incorporate meditation into each day.

I want to find a job that fits my top strengths.

I will only take time for T.V. after I have walked the dogs and helped the kids with their homework.

Having an outcome helps you know when your goal is achieved. And that will make you feel good – and motivated to do more!

I am available to speak to your organization on this topic. Send an email to for more information.

Looking Ahead Instead

As a business performance coach, I like to stay on top of new ideas and research regarding human behavior.  Because of this, I subscribe to a number of Facebook pages, Twitter accounts and blogs that have to do with improving personal and business performance.  From many of these I get great information that I’m able to share with others, incorporate into my posts, and use in presentations or with my clients.

For the most part, this same information also leaves me feeling energized, encouraged to reach my goals, and motivated to power ahead regardless of how the situation might look right now.  And then there are a few that leave me feeling, well, sort of worse.

A couple of these in particular have had me scratching my head.  These sites have many, many followers.  And yet I read them and something doesn’t feel quite right to me.  Thankfully, I think I’ve figured it out!  These are the sites that spend most of their time talking about what we shouldn’t do, not about what’s possible.

On the surface they look all right.  “10 Things to Give Up in the New Year,” or “How to Forgive Someone Who Hurts You Again and Again,” or “25 Ways to Keep Smiling When Life Stinks,” etc.  While the core of the message may be relatively good, there’s generally no information regarding what to move toward, only what should be left behind.  When we focus on what we’re leaving instead of where we’re going, it leaves us feeling down and depressed.  Certainly not motivated.

Instead of thinking about what we want to give up, let’s think about where we want to go.  This motivates, energizes, and moves us forward.

Connect with me on Facebook: Coach Carolyn

Coaching Challenge: Performance

Our performance is often best when we are challenged: challenged by others, by a goal or by our own competitive spirit.  For that reason, this week needed to be a coaching challenge.  Print this off and make it your To Do List for next week.

Here we go….

  • Remind yourself of your potential.  Only when you know and understand the gap between your current performance level and your potential will you recognize the need to up your performance.  Start here: Coaching Challenge: Your Potential.
  • Identify ways to improve your performance.  Do you need to get more sleep?  Organize your day at the beginning, before you jump in?  Say “no” to unnecessary meetings?  What’s holding you back?  Make a list and start to improve.
  • Ask for feedback.  Be sure to ask a person who is willing to hold up a mirror, not simply tell you what you want to hear.  Do something with the information you learn.  Lean into the discomfort this creates and allow it to move you forward.
  • Get over it.  Whatever it is in your past that’s keeping you from performing at your best, get over it.  Wish you still had that great boss you had a few years back?  He’s not coming back.  Wish you were still working on the glory project you had last year?  Find glory in something new.  Hate that you need to learn a new software program?  Tough.  Get over it.  Don’t use it as an excuse that keeps you from your best performance.
  • Commit to excellence each day.  Create a mantra to repeat a few times on your way to work.  Say it out loud.  Believe it.  Do it.

Are You Stuck in a Moment?

It can be nearly impossible to perform at our best if we’re not committed to moving forward and excelling in our careers. Thinking about this again reminded me of a post from July…

Stuck In A Moment

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

Stuck in a Moment ~U2

As melodies from my favorite band played through my head after an incredible rain-drenched concert at the TCF Stadium on Saturday, it occurred to me that being stuck in a moment can be every bit as damaging to a career as being burned out.

Yes, I am always looking for lessons in odd places.

Perhaps you are comfortable where you are – and have been for quite a while. I’ve watched people comfortably stay where they are until their job becomes redundant or obsolete, after which they have been walked to the door, holding their career in a box.

I’ve also watched people stuck in a moment of grandeur, unable to leave a team or a company where accolades were showered on them… years ago. Hoping to capture the same feelings and success, they stay where they are while others move on to find success again somewhere else.

And then there are those who become stuck in their learning, not moving on to try new things, adapt to new circumstances, or learn a new technology. Other, often younger, co-workers blow by these individuals because they think they know enough due to title, age or degree.

Stuck in a moment?

Don’t be. Move on.

It’s just a moment
This time will pass

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Work Heartily

Well, here we go!  Back to work after days – or maybe even weeks – filled with friends, family, relaxation, indulgence, fun and play.  Are you ready?

How do you plan to perform today?  Did your R&R revive you to bring your best efforts with you back to work?  Or did the break expose how you really feel about your job as you drug yourself out of bed this morning?

Either way, you’ve made a commitment to someone – whether it’s an employer or yourself – to engage at work today.  For many of you, other people depend on your engagement at work as well.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,” is a passage found in Colossians.  Thinking about work in this way, how does it change your perspective on working?  I know it’s changed mine more than one time in the past – and today as I contemplate the words again.

If it’s too much to think about working “as for the Lord” or you are of a different faith, modifying the words to match your circumstance brings power as well.  Work heartily as your family depends on you.  Work heartily to support the charity you believe in.  Work heartily to keep your beautiful home.  Work heartily to save for your next vacation.  Work heartily for the customers who rely on you.

Heartily.  As I type it over and over I realize that we don’t use this word much, so these variations might help:

Work enthusiastically.

Work good-naturedly.

Work completely.

Work with gusto, with energy, emphatically, wholeheartedly, vigorously.

Perform at your best.

Find me on Facebook: Coach Carolyn